Hard to believe that its been 121 since I started this madness.
The taper is going well. I feel like a ball of energy. I've got some various tightness in my achilles tendons when I wake up in the morning but even that is subsiding for the first time in four months. I've been icing my shins every day and they're feeling better and better (I was really worried I had stress fractures, but I'm hoping that since they are improving that this is not the case). I think that my body is going to be as ready as it can be. My mind is another matter.
At this point I'm all nerves... I wish I could go out for a run to clear my head and get some of the antsiness out of my system but I need to stick to the taper. I'm filled with nervous anticipation. I've been focusing on training for the last four months. My time has been consumed with running; The training, the icing, reading about running, blogging about running, reading blogs about running, reading and commenting on running forums, watching running movies, googling every topic even remotely related to running, analyzing my HR data, mapping my runs (damn I need a job!)... obsession pretty much sums in up... not necessarily in a healthy way probably but I guess there's a lot worse things to obsess about... hopefully after the race I can continue the running but bring a little balance into the mix.
Lately I've been obsessed with what ifs: What if it's too cold, What if it rains, what if I can't handle the pace, what if I'm miserable, what if I have to take a dump mid-race...
...but I try to tell myself that worrying is silly... I'm as prepared as I can be at this time... there's nothing else I can do... I've packed my bags... I have all my gear... I'm prepared for the weather... so I'm going to replace the what if's with so whats!
so what if it rains, I've trained in the rain... so what if it's miserable, I'm running 26.2 miles at a pace much faster than I've ever attempted to run for more than 13.1, so of course it'll be miserable... so what if I can't handle the pace, I'll just have to slow down and enjoy the atmosphere... and if I have to take a dump, I guess I'll just have to stop to take a dump, although I hope to god this is not a problem!
Bottom line is that in less than 48 hours I'm going to go out and race for 26.2 miles for the first time in my life... and no matter what happens it's going to be an important experience in my life... In less than 48 hours I'm going to be a marathoner! I used to talk to people who ran marathons and be impressed and I'd think to myself, some day that's going to be me... It was always in my mind that someday I was going to run a marathon, because in my mind I was always a runner... but now it's going to be real.
I have no doubt that this marathon experience is going to be awesome... some people say that it's going to be life altering... I'm still not so sure about that... but on the other hand, I love to run, and I love to race... I have vivid memories of many of the races and I'm confident that in 48 hours this first marathon will be vividly imprinted into my mind as well. No matter what happens this is going to be my first marathon and no matter what happens on race day I'm confident that I'll look back at the day as an important experience regardless of the ultimate outcome.
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I still remember my first marathon vividly. In Chicago in very similar conditions that you'll have on Sunday. And it was awesome despite the cool weather and misty rain. You are going to have a great time.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, you've pretty much expressed every first time marathoners hopes and fears in this post. Everyone thinks the same. I thought I had a possible stress fracture in my foot before my first. I was limping for a few weeks before the race and nervous about it. Funny thing, never felt it at all during the marathon itself. Never felt it ever again afterwards either. Wishing you the same! Best of luck and enjoy!